Hawking the poltical spinners.
and he had to squat ...
Published on December 31, 2004 By hitparade In Misc
The following was forwarded to me:

The line of business my wife works in requires her going out to dinner with prospective clients. The overwhelming majority of these people are politically liberal. If the client's spouse is to be present, the company policy encourages its employees to be escorted by their signifcant other whenever possible.

The first few times I approached the situation with the attitude that for the wife's sake, I'd gut it out. But after a few times out, I resolved that I would actually enjoy these nights out with the wife- the mixed company notwithstanding- so I adapted a roll with the punches strategy.

Well, last night the wife and I dined out with a prospective client and his boyfriend. The client - I shit you not- was a dead ringer for Michael Moore. I mean a dead ringer.... At any rate, there came a point when I had to hit the head, so I excused myself from the table and made a beeline for the men's room. Michael Moore said he had to go too.

Michael Moore then plopped a squat in the stall next to mine and he had to... Now let me just say something first: I am not bashful when it comes to taking a dump in public toilets... so minutes later, there I am pinching a trident-size-loaf... I mean I dropped an A-bomb and boy did it ever stink; so much so that this Michael Moore look alike started gagging. And boy did the sound of his gagging make me laugh but good. In the spirit of keeping things light- for the wife's sake- I asked this Michael Moore look alike if regretted leaving his gas mask at home. Well, he laughed and gagged some more. Accordingly, I advised him- man to man- to fire back.

He timidly laughed and told me that he could not fire back because he only had to tinkle, to do a number one. Then, suddenly, all at once it hit me, why Michael Moore is the way he is: This is a guy who has to squat to take a piss. You see ladies, standing at a urinal to take a piss… is uniquely a man thing.

The psychology of a fat man (who has to squat to take a piss) finally explains it all...
--------


Comments (Page 1)
2 Pages1 2 
on Dec 31, 2004
Oh my, this article explains it all,

thank you for clearing up why mickey moore is so uptight.
on Dec 31, 2004
Reply By: ModeratemanPosted: Friday, December 31, 2004Oh my, this article explains it all, thank you for clearing up why mickey moore is so uptight.


Hiding in plain sight.
on Dec 31, 2004
So what? 120000 or so dead in Asia and it's rumored by some macho fuckstick who takes pride in the shit released from his ass that Michael Moore squats. Who cares?
on Dec 31, 2004
BTW, I personally do not intend to offend any overweight or large boned people, th only target of this post is the lard ass named Michael Moore. Just for the record... my daddy is a fat man, Elvis (at the end) was also a fat man, and there's a big fat good reason why we call my second favorite Unlce by the nickname of Big Tony (but it is true that unlike Mikie Moore none of them must sit to piss [long- john genetics]; so please take no offense...

Happy new year !
on Dec 31, 2004
by some macho fuckstick who takes pride in the shit released from his ass that Michael Moore squats. Who cares?


BTW, there's been a time or two that I've taken tremendous pride in the dump that I left behind.
on Dec 31, 2004
So what? 120000 or so dead in Asia and it's rumored by some macho fuckstick who takes pride in the shit released from his ass that Michael Moore squats


What a meaningless waste of sentiment. Did you breath today?? Did you eat?? How dare you!! People are dying!!!

If you want to actually do something to aid in the recovery, donate money, donate assets or donate your time. If all you want to do is try to prove how much more you "care" because you are offended that people are laughing, life hasn't stopped and the world hasn't stopped turning because people are dying.. you really need to get a life!!! ;~D
on Dec 31, 2004
BTW, there's been a time or two that I've taken tremendous pride in the dump that I left behind.


Yeah, I'll admit it, me too...this morning in fact!
on Dec 31, 2004
What a meaningless waste of sentiment. Did you breath today?? Did you eat?? How dare you!! People are dying!!!


I think I breathed yesterday...I have yet to eat today but I plan on it...White Castle maybe? As for meaningless wastes of sentiment...fair enough.

life hasn't stopped and the world hasn't stopped turning because people are dying..


You're absolutley right. I did hear that the earth has shifted slightly on its axis though...how crazy is that?

on Dec 31, 2004

So what? 120000 or so dead in Asia and it's rumored by some macho fuckstick who takes pride in the shit released from his ass that Michael Moore squats. Who cares?

The irony is that the enviro whackos are blaming the Tsunami on man as well!  Who cares?  Anyone with a heart and intelligence.  Which leaves Mikey out of it.

on Dec 31, 2004

Big Tony (but it is true that unlike Mikie Moore none of them must sit to piss [long- john genetics]; so please take no offense...

Big Tony is YOUR UNCLE!  Excuse me for any offenses Sir!  I dont need an offer I cant refuse!

on Dec 31, 2004
tis not even worth speaking about unless you look..

and see it and think

oh my there an anaconda coiled up in my toilet bowl..



on Dec 31, 2004

oh my there an anaconda coiled up in my toilet bowl..

is that where the expression "snake bit" comes from?

on Dec 31, 2004
Why more threads on how to grow a tail? Didn't we have a large one a while back?
Aw to heck with it, be free! fly away! (Plop) oops.
on Dec 31, 2004
i too was once unable to get outta taking lunch with a client and her client who insisted on bringing his boyfriend...a guy who looked almost exactly like dick cheney.  you could even tell when he was lying cuz he'd get that same crooked lil 'you know im bullshitting you and i know you know but you wont say anything smile'.  

luckily i made it thru the ordeal without having to go to the men's room with either guy (while i have no problem with gay couples, i do gotta admit the narrator of your story is much more open-minded about going to a men's room for a lil tete-a-tete with another guy's bf) and missed out on having any kinda scatalogical conversation with cheney or his male lover.  but then different strokes for different folks.  sounds like the guy who described this experience woulda had an equally intriguing story should he have found himself in the men's room with my client's client and his "dick".    

 
on Dec 31, 2004

i too was once unable to get outta taking lunch with a client and her client who insisted on bringing his boyfriend...a guy who looked almost exactly like dick cheney. you could even tell when he was lying cuz he'd get that same crooked lil 'you know im bullshitting you and i know you know but you wont say anything smile'.

luckily i made it thru the ordeal without having to go to the men's room with either guy (while i have no problem with gay couples, i do gotta admit the narrator of your story is much more open-minded about going to a men's room for a lil tete-a-tete with another guy's bf) and missed out on having any kinda scatalogical conversation with cheney or his male lover. but then different strokes for different folks. sounds like the guy who described this experience woulda had an equally intriguing story should he have found himself in the men's room with my client's client and his "dick".


You are a better man than I Gunga Din!  I can only tell when Mikey is lying when he opens his mouth.  I dont read facial expressions!

2 Pages1 2